The Early Years

Katherine was a normal baby by all accounts. She was smiling at faces by 1 month and was on schedule with language development and ahead of the game on motor skills. I did notice that she was more reserved with people than Thomas had been. But her social interest always seemed well within the normal range and Thomas was such a huge flirt I didn't think that was a fair comparison.

Unlike when Thomas was an infant, when Katherine was an infant I spend lots of time with other moms and other babies close to mine in age. It was not until she was about 16 months that she started to diverge developmentally. Around that time, she stopped picking up new words. By 18 months she was losing words and by 21 months we started her in speech therapy. No one was very concerned. Her play was still very appropriate. She independently pretended with her dolls and toy kitchen.

I grew worried as she approached her second birthday. Thomas had done a few months of speech therapy as a toddler and made substantial progress each week. Katherine had been doing speech therapy for months and had made no progress. Shortly after her birthday her play skills started to wane. By 26 months she had given up dolls and was doing puzzles. We noticed that she took the pieces out in the exact same order and put them back in the exact same order every time. By 27 months she was lining up blocks and other toys instead of actually playing with them.

The moment of truth came as I put her to bed one night shortly before 28 months. I read and sang to her as we rocked gently in her glider. . . and she didn't look me in the eye the entire time. I could still clearly remember Thomas gazing into my eyes throughout the same bedtime routine at the same age. As soon as I had her in bed I looked up the diagnostic criteria for autism. And then everything changed.